After a warm-up night in Orofino, it was time to hit the road on Friday to the real deal – the towns with population sub-1,000. We first hit Kendrick, population 369, but unfortunately the bar had closed (apparently the latest owner was not such a people person and ended up driving all the customers away). So it was on to Juliaetta, population 609, with the perfect bar to profile – The Bottoms Up.
Peggy bought The Bottoms Up back in 1968 from the Bottoms family, who had immigrated to these parts from Scotland. The Bottoms family set up shop in 1906, and the bar has been central to the town of Juliaetta ever since, not only serving as the local watering hole, but as the venue of choice for everything to medal pinning ceremonies for local military honorees to wakes. Peggy’s two daughters – Heidi and “Tick” practically grew up in the bar and have nothing but great memories. After 49 years, Peggy says, “It’s been a blast” and is preparing to hand the bar over to Tick and her partner and fellow bartender, Michelle.
Michelle was a godsend from the first minute – chock full of info on Juliaetta’s history and the regulars, she was my in. With Michelle regaling us with everything from how Juliaetta got it's name (it was founded by some rich grain guy with two daughters: Julia and Etta) to who they used to who used to deliver the mail on horseback, all was going swimmingly. Until we met Sam.
Sam was hilarious. 26 years old with 4 kids - we say: "you must really like kids." He says: "No, I just like to hump." Well, apparently! Anyway, Sam knows Darin's brother, and before we know it, we're off on a wild adventure with Sam and his wife, Rachel, that involves going .... somewhere. We jump in Sam's car and head first to Sam's cousin's house just up the street -- home to cousin Sam, his wife Amanda, and Bailey, who holds up 3 fingers when you ask how old she is. I must have known something was amiss because I had the presence of mind to take my wallet and cell phone out of my purse before jumping out at this little stopover. Well, after lots of rambunctious playing with Bailey and 2 separate tours of her pink princess bedroom, it was finally time to go, only Sam had taken off without us and unknowingly *with* my bag with my car keys in it. 2 out of 3 ain't bad, but keys are pretty critical when you're 30 miles from nowhere.
Chaos ensues. Sam has no cell phone (and even if he did, it wouldn't work out here). We implore the poor Danny-Amanda-Bailey family we don't know to help us try to find Sam. Calls follow to Sam's mom -- they're on the way to Elk River (40 minutes away). They try calling the Chevron station on the way to Elk River. No luck. But, as luck would have it we're in a small town! Darin's brother's ex-wife, Karen, happens to live up here and happens to drive by just as we're trying to problem solve in the driveway. Karen kindly agrees to drive us the 1 hour back to where we're staying in Orofino. But then I recall that I have an extra key in the back of my car. So we all hustle back to my car and try to open it with a coat hanger. Then Danny drives up and says someone called the house, and said Sam is at Dave's. Who's Dave? Darin's brother's friend who happens to be staying at Darin's brother's house, which also happens to be in Juliaetta. Are you confused yet? So am I. Darin and Danny hop in Danny's car and race to Dave's to try to intercept Sam. No luck. They return, and the coat hanger antics continue until Karen remembers that her friend -- Ed -- has a slim Jim.
Ed appears in no time, but by this point I'd reverted to my citified comfort zone of calling my roadside service number from the Bottom's Up's portable phone. The operator keeps coming on and off the line saying -- I'm sorry, we're *still* trying to find someone in your service area (the town is apparently not in any service area whatsoever ... I guess that's what happens when a town is barely on the map) But, finally, just as the nice Geico lady came on to say we finally found someone 30 miles away, my car alarm pierces the night -- Ed was in. Hallelujah! With the car alarm blaring and the anti-theft system locking down the hatchback where my key was (great), we drag the contents of my homeless life out of the car into the street, fold down the seat to burrow into the hatchback, find the key, and -- whew -- all is well. Until we get pulled over by a cop and return to find all our camping stuff soaked from a crazy summer storm earlier that day. But I won't even go into that, as I've had enough for one day, and I'm sure you have too!
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